Stars Fell on Alabama

I'm sitting here, listening to an album I haven't seen in a couple years. Sitting in my closet was my CD case I hadn't bothered to locate or touch, but a couple of nights ago, I decided to explore it. Some CDs fell out, neglected to be put in their storage sleeves. This was my jazz collection that I had been proud of, especially in my nonconformist teenage years.

There it was, "Ella & Louis." Louis, with his low-throated growl, trumpet calls, and quick-witted sentiments scattered throughout the songs. And Ella, her perfect pitch, scatted syllables, and delighted alto range. The first that came on, random, was "Stars Fell on Alabama" and I thought about my boyfriend Ross who envisions a life for us in "Alabamy."

Right now, we're both applying to graduate schools for creative writing, hoping to perfect our craft in poetry. Yes, we dream someday of becoming famous poets, of being awarded with numerous praises, eager students asking for us to sign collections of poems graces with our poetic presence. Yes, this is the life we've dreamed of for years, though separately. We didn't know each other then.

Ross and I had been attending school together for 4 years. Over that time, I had heard his name, mentioned in various circles of poetic friends and yet, we didn't meet until our senior year of college. He was working on a portfolio for graduate school, as was I with our respective poetry professors. At the end of the semester came a reading that we both participated in with another student. I was impressed by him and his poetry, but never gave him another thought. At least not romantically.

The next semester, Ross and I were in an Advanced Poetry workshop, the final step in our university for ambitious, aspiring, serious poets. I fell in love with my classmates, my professor, and the combinations of words we included on pages to create poetry. At the end of the course, another reading and who was last to read but Ross, impressive in his craft, and even more attractive than I had ever remembered. He has a true presence about him, in class and about campus. After mentioning an aside to the poet sitting next to me and after the reading, I jokingly, asked if he would marry me. I told the professor that I proposed and she went to Ross, saying, "your life is about to change." Who would have known that was true?

Ross and I have been dating for the past 6 months. I got his number from a classmate at another writing class' ending dinner the next night. I called him, intoxicated with the thought of having a new lover, of being wanted. It wasn't just that, though. I sensed something in him - something intriguing and mysterious and lonely and loving and I wanted to know that. I had been pushed aside too much from a heart that had known me, intimately, for 3.5 years. That past, that ex-, graduated college, moved to New Jersey and had dragged me through a long-distance relationship, complete with twists of emotion. And perhaps, dragged isn't the best word. It was a welcome prospect for me, too. Senior year, new experiences, new moves, new plans.

Out of work for nearly a year, except a minor gig, working for his uncle in a clothing store. This was a boy, a man, with a college degree from one of the best schools on the East Coast, working in retail. And, please believe. There's no shame in my game. But when you're out of work for almost year, not applying, and living with your parents, there's a problem. A lack of motivation. A fear. Something is holding you back. Applying to graduate school at the time, he decided that the best bet was to follow me to school...and then what?

We never discussed beyond that. There was always a fear, an apprehension that both of us had talking about these issues. But with Ross, we have a certain level of maturity, we acknowledge the steps we want to take in our life, in our careers. And I love him for that. Yes, we would love to get into the same schools and forge our lives from there, but that may not be option for us. So, we'll work it out.

Ella and Louis. Their music love affair. It made me think of him. It made me think of Alabama and renting houses with 2 dogs and poetry and love and it made me happy. It made me laugh.

So right now, I'm listening to that album, between catching glimpses of "Girlfriends" and writing this post. The windows are open for various graduate school applications, my resume, apartment and job listings on Craigslist, and my poetry portfolio. "Girlfriends," admittedly a show I used to enjoy, is making me a little sick in my newfound relationship "maturity," I'm flipping through college football and seeing just about every school I'm applying to play today.

Interested in what the choices currently are?
Here you go:

Washington University, St. Louis
Southern Illinois University, Carbondale
University of Iowa
Indiana University
Notre Dame University
Vanderbilt University
University of Michigan
University of Minnesota
Purdue University
Penn State University
University of New Orleans
University of Virginia
Virginia Tech University
Virginia Commonwealth University
Louisiana State University
University of Alabama

I'm ready to work on my personal statement now and I need to plug in my Macbook.